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Happy Father's Day

Categorized in these topics: Female Social Justice


What could be better then to have the Sunday papers lovingly presented at the breakfast table for Dad by his wife and children? A celebration of the patriarch and having the patriarch surrounded with his elements is deemed sacred among many families. Many fathers remark how relaxing this ritual is.

Like buying the perfect greeting card, I took another in-depth look at newspapers to peer at what the possible ‘relaxation’ was. I can see how the masculine preferred lens is plastered from the front page stories to advertisements. The ads seem to speak to fathers of what the conforming image needs to be relegating the women and children into proscribed roles.

Recently, the newspaper had rammed on its front pages a caption stating “A U.S. soldier points at hooded and naked Iraqi prisoners at Abu Ghraib prison,” the U.S. soldier is obviously a smiling female with a cigarette in her mouth. What she is pointing at and the symbolic shape of the cigarette are essentially the same thing; phallic violence.

At first glance at the picture I thought perhaps the story was reporting on a pornography bust. When I discovered the picture was of Iraqi males I was startled that any male was the subject of phallic violence. Since Iraqi peoples are considered the enemy and second class citizenry by the Bush administration, military males and male warriors, the abused Iraqi males joined the thousands years long torture, rape and abuse pogrom to women and children.

The response has been worldwide outrage at the U.S. and President Bush’s supposed high morality by global citizens sick of the hypocrisy. The outrage itself is hypocritical, since it has not been directed towards the incessant and insistent violence heaped upon women and children; it is only when men are targeted in the same fashion that the world takes notice.

It is not a matter of coincidence either, that a female’s face is plastered across photos describing the male abuse. "They have to have someone to blame, and basically she is at the bottom of the pecking order, and so she gets the blame," England's attorney Rose Mary Zapor was quoted as saying in the Denver Post Sunday editions.

I get how males refuse any shred of accountability. Here we have a screaming headline pointing fingers at predominantly male offenders and the female’s face is used instead of any male abuser. Leakage on how mostly males abuse, kill, and maintain public dominions over minorities, women and children might ruin the father’s day ritual of his paper and coffee served with denial and self-sacrifice on the part of his children and wife. Holding males accountable is not what this holiday is all about.

I can see the logic of it, since there are so many minorities, women and children to blame first. Global citizens collude with media to acquiesce against challenging any male accountability.

I am quite aware that these very same global citizens are mute and do not notice the articles in the subsections of newspapers or buried in media sound bites about pornography, child porn and rapes. Front page outrage about the abused women and children is not frequent unless it was a slow day for screaming headlines.

Classrooms use the newspapers and Internet media as assignments where the front page news exhibit global outrage about the Iraqi males abused in prison. The child rapes, child porn, sex slave industry and rapes are relegated to subsections or not represented at all. In fact, there is a whole realm on the Internet for porn and porn users (mostly all male) making it all acceptable.

The patriarchal male lens applied in the expression of media for children to metabolize and ingest is obvious in that the porn revenue is larger then all combined revenues of professional football, baseball and basketball franchises. The United States porn revenue exceeds the combined revenues of ABC, CBS and NBC (6.2 billion) while child pornography generates $ 3 billion. (www.toptenreviews.com)

Women, children and minorities will understand their less than human status. I ask where the outrage is for women and children. More importantly, where is the fatherly outrage at phallic violence towards children and women? Isn’t fathers’ inaction akin to actually participating?

Father’s Day is about the American Male, where 53% of the Promise Keepers and 47% of Christians frequent and use pornography. 28.2 million U.S. American males are porn users and addicts. (www.toptenreviews.com) I can see why the cigarette smoking military female with abused Iraqi prisoners would be erotic for males.

The phallic violence towards women and children is normalized into daily occurrences as if it was a way to sanction the inhumane treatment as appropriate male sexuality. Hiding behind labels and terms and the subsections of newspapers, males and fathers can pretend that they are not the perpetrators while projecting their shadow onto a few examples in their cry of outrage and hypocrisy.

Coursing through the media and even classroom texts, there is no mention that in all of the violence, over 95% of the perpetrators are male. When my son was in fifth grade, I refused the curriculum that wanted a very white male accounting of how the ‘west was won.’ Instead, my son got to read Chief Joseph’s words as his reading assignment after my stalwart fighting for change. He failed the test for the subject since Chief Joseph’s words held accountability and honor.

Children and mothers face those decisions in the smallest of acts. Do we fight the system, hold men accountable or does my son fail school for not knowing the propaganda and wordsmithing that does not hold mankind accountable? Besides, accountability and acknowledgement would ruin the sacred Father’s Day newspaper and coffee ritual.

Like it or not, the patriarchy has had a long history of blaming the victims; women and children, for their inhumane actions and beliefs. We are led by a picture that incriminates a woman while the men who perpetrated the violence are in the shadows. Why are not the male perpetrators’ pictures shown immediately rather than the female?

I remember Derrick Jensen’s words in his book, “A Language Older then Words” that proclaimed that 250 million men were murdered by their fellow men in last 50-60 years alone

Newspapers tend to evade and avoid male accountability while building the masculine image. Searching through the paper for statistics and more details on ‘fathers’ as a whole is confusing. Told fact by fact rather than revealed as a whole picture, I can see why reading the newspapers on Father’s Day Sunday morning could be so relaxing for them. Newspapers and media is a place where males are rarely held accountable for their gender and their actions.

No tallies or careful measurements on how many women and children have been murdered in phallic violence called wars, or patriotism, and their holy rites are in the newspaper. In the Iraqi war the woman who took pictures of the U.S. military coffins was fired immediately. The numbers of killed Iraqi peoples are not allowed in the newsprint. Neither is there a tally of civilians killed in Iraqi where the women and children tolls can be numbered. I think the patriarchs call that ‘collateral damage,’ meaning that women, children and minorities should understand and accept their role as sacrificial, as they die, are tortured, abused or when their homes are blown up.

Obviously, we do not number the insignificant female, child or scapegoated minorities. Counting the sheer number of females and female infants killed at birth and other statistics lies buried in hidden labels where perhaps suicides are called accidents, rapes are not reported due to shame and blame in the system or that the female refugees or victim moved away. I guess if the newspaper is going to be relaxing there is no investment to know the massive number of females and children murdered by phallic violence.

To keep it more relaxed the front page did not herald when the U.S. legal system starting using the term ‘aggravated rape,’ or ‘molest.’ Did you know aggravated rape includes sexual intercourse with children younger then 12? How fun would that be for Dads to be met with that in the newspaper? Actually, I have long suspected that newspapers, media and television are soft porn and that males find violence erotic.

Sheer brilliance to hide behind a label such as aggravated rape and molest – this way the crimes against female humanity, children and minorities can continue rampantly and we can relax with the newspaper. Looking at the legal term molestation, I discovered it was an old Scotch law name of an action to the owner of land/estate against those who disturb his possession.

K.C. Maxwell interviewed for the Michael Jackson molestation case describes the legal term of molestation “in California is lewd and lascivious, which is really just a fancy way of saying that he touched child with the specific intent to arouse his own sexual interest, or the child's for that matter.” Newspapers love the words molest or molestation it hides the real crimes against humanity and keeps the newspaper ‘relaxed.’ Plus with the porn stats it keeps it is a feature of the patriarch’s brand of what sexy is.

I did read the Internet news issue where Amnesty International finally declared war on phallic violence after years of trying to ignore the catastrophic statistic; 1 billion females having been abused, raped, and beaten by family, friends and someone they know. Hey, most are males and Dads! That information would ruin Father’s Day especially if it was on Father’s Day early Sunday morning. Fathers and males would be getting ‘caught’ with their pants down.

That 1 billion figure means that one in three females globally are forever scarred and wounded by phallic violence. By Dads and fathers just like you.

I say this Father’s Day, women and children hold males responsible by asking:

Why males are over 95 % of the perpetrators?

Why females cannot go out at night to jog, to the movies without fear of harm but males never have that fear?

What does it mean that males who are the representing entities in governments, media, and corporations are not inclusive of females, children and minorities? Just look at newspapers, media photos. Almost all are of males in authority positions while females are enticing sex objects.

While your Dad may have not committed phallic violence, his gender is largely responsible for manning machine guns, nuclear reactions and missiles while making legal definitions and laws- how has he committed himself in his daily actions and interactions with other males when phallic violence was present?

And finally, is this what it means to be a man and a Dad?

Should we women and children thank all our fathers for being so wonderful?



Thank you for:

Females’ chances of being stalked are close to 1 in 10. (U.S. Dept. of Justice)

A woman is 3 times more likely to be stalked than raped. (U.S. Dept. of Justice)

The primary targets of stalkers are women (80%). (U.S. Dept. of Justice)

Nearly 1/3 of American women report being physically or sexually abused by a husband or boyfriend at some point in their lives. (http://womensissues.about.com/library/bldomesticviolencestats.htm)

Female genital mutilations practice that affect more than 100,000 million girls in 30 countries around the world.

Honor Killings a practice that is affecting women's lives in the Middle East and Pakistan is usually perpetrated by the males in the family with the consent or knowledge of the mother.

30% of Bosnian women experience domestic violence and no laws against child abuse exist before the Balkan war or after.

45 million refugees globally and 75-80% are women (Mertus)

Feminization of poverty- in U.S. women still earns a wage that is 67 cents to every dollar that a male receives.

Women constitute 98% of spousal violence victims of kidnapping/hostage-taking and sexual assault (Fitzgerald 1999).

Male spouses constitute 67% of family members who kill their female partners (Fitzgerald 1999).

Evidence from various sources suggests that a large majority of wife killings are precipitated by: a man accusing his partner of sexual infidelity; by her decision to terminate the relationship; and/or by his desire to control her (Wilson and Daly 1994).

One of the most startling aspects of sex crimes is how many go unreported. The most common reasons given by women for not reporting these crimes are the belief that it is a private or personal matter and the fear of reprisal from the assailant.

Approximately 28% of victims are raped by husbands or boyfriends, 35% by acquaintances, and 5% by other relatives. (Violence against Women, Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S. Dept. of Justice, 1994)

Somewhere in America, a woman is raped every 2 minutes, according to the U.S. Department of Justice.



I could go on but I am sure next year on Father’s Day, the list will get larger and larger.

Perhaps, this Father’s day you will look into the eyes of your partner and children and hold yourself accountable by investing the male preferred privilege to include women, children, animals, and the Mother Earth.

Happy Father’s Day





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